The Jewish people are known for being a religious community of many
opinions; the Talmud itself is expressed in the form of an ongoing debate with
regard to a variety of dilemmas. It’s not surprising, then, that this expansive range of beliefs is accompanied by differing expressions and practices of faith. While it is relatively well known that rigorous lifestyle choices are undertaken by those who practice Orthodox Judaism, understanding some seemingly extreme behaviors can be difficult for outsiders. This is particularly true when studying the religious practices of the Gur Hasidim, a Hasidic sect of Judaism that prides itself on a commitment to sanctity (or kedusha).
Gur Hasidism is known for being a highly secretive sect of Hasidic Judaism, but a recent study outlined in this Haaretz article sheds light on the inner workings of Gur Hasidic life. Sanctity to the Gur Hasidic Jew is a practice of "drawing apart," according to author and former Gur Hasidim community member Tamar Rotem; this concept is exemplified best by the guidelines for male-female relations...or lack thereof. The idea of prishut, or separation, guides the interactions of men and women; sexuality is considered incongruous with the spiritual mission of Hasidism. Wasserman explains,
"There is a rivalry between spirituality and sexuality, so sexuality has to be abolished."
Having studied the sect while writing her dissertation, Dr. Nava Wasserman has in many ways demystified the life of Gur Hasidic Jews, revealing the full extent of these separation practices (this is particularly notable, as kedusha is an oral tradition in Gur Hasidism). For example, both men and women are expected to dress very modestly; men may not have a conversation without donning their overcoat! Perhaps more indicative of the asexual nature prescribed by Gur Hasidic culture is the fact that men avert their eyes from women so as not to be overcome with feelings of lust, or "lewd thoughts." While in more secular cultures weddings are commonly considered a prime spot to find a date these days, the Gur Hasidic tradition prohibits men from attending weddings in part to limit exposure to women.
One might assume that relations between husband and wives are exempt from these types of separation practices, but in fact spouses deal with some of most stringent standards. In public, husband and wife do not walk in the street together; privately, husbands address their wives not by name but with a hum or rap on the table. Dinner is often eaten at separate tables. Touch is extraordinarily limited, as Gur Hasidic couples behave as the woman were ritually impure throughout the month. In order to understand why these separation practices are observed, it's necessary to refer back to the concepts of sanctity and "distant closeness" that Rotem and Wasserman describe. According to Dr. Wasserman, the foundation of the Gur Hasidic faith is that one should "remove yourself from those things that are permitted to you."
The trickiest part of marriage for Gur Hasidic couples must be sex. As Rotem points out, sexuality is prevalent in western society; most American men don't think anything of bestowing a loving touch or kiss upon their wives either publicly or privately; dirty jokes make the office email rounds; even cars utilize powers of seduction. Under the tenets of sanctity and prishut, however, couples must channel their sexuality into a purely procreational activity. In another article by Rotem, a woman recalls her wedding night: she was expected not to focus on the pleasure of conjugal relations with her husband but instead to visualize the face of the Rebbe in order to produce "righteous children." Navigating marital relations is a delicate task regardless of faith, but is made even more difficult by this sexually averse lifestyle of the Gur Hasidim, who are largely unaware of sex in general until the wedding day itself. Quite understandably, some men faint or vomit at the daunting events ahead of them (for which they were entirely unprepared)!
Author Tamar Rotem has written several articles on the topic of Gur Hasidism. After reviewing many of them, she clearly brings in several points of view on the matter. The two articles by Rotem mentioned in this post discuss opposing viewpoints; she openly acknowledges that some felt Wasserman's work was "imprecise" in its depiction of Gur Hasidism and subsequently wrote an article giving alternate opinions a voice. While she utilizes restraint and is respectful of other perceptions, Rotem clearly wishes to bring this very private sect of Judaism (and its unusual marital framework) into the light. As former member of the community, one can qualify her as authoritative in the field due to personal experience. Her articles often include the testimony of former Gur Hasidism women who left the faith, suggesting she may empathize with their plight and wish to make a difference.
Dr. Nava Wasserman is social worker who obtained her doctorate at Bar-Ilan University; her study portrays Gur society, in her words, as "a success." Given her extensive study she can be considered a reliable source of factual information about the Gur Hasidic sect, however she admittedly has not experienced the life itself. Clearly this difference in experience in some way contributes to the stark difference in the opinions of Dr. Wasserman and those of former Gur Hasidic women interviewed by Rotem.
Gur Hasidism is an area of Judaism yet to be fully explored and understood from an outsider's perspective. Personal opinions on the practices of the community are clearly varied, though these beliefs and their implementation are nonetheless highly intriguing.
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